Goodbye 2013

Yeah it's over, and here's hoping that 2014 is the year. What do you mean "the" year? That we get matched or placed with our forever child or children. Just in case I have located 2 facilities that are approved and work with the state. One is closer to my mother and I have always liked this place. So I am going to go with that one unless they are booked. Of course if the child is school age it's a matter of calling and arranging with the school system. Let's not get to much into that.

What I remember about 2013?
I still believe if our first caseworker had addressed everything sooner our application would not have had to have been put on hold, and a process that should have taken 3 to 6 months wouldn't have ended up taking us a year. I am thankful for caseworker number 2 and believe in some way it was a better fit. I don't believe caseworker number 1 set out to give us a hard time, but I got the feeling she just had so much on her plate. Like I told someone else I believe caseworker number 2 is a better fit and will fight for us and on our behalf.
I had to serve jury duty that was well interesting. It was one day but when you get that notice and go into that room it's intimidating.
I met up with a support group about adoption and other groups through social media.

I didn't think we would ever get out of the home study phase. I realize every piece of this journey comes with it's own challenges and struggles. Good times are there just not the same to everyone. Sometimes you want to give up you want to say this is it I'm done. You will be pushed farther then you ever thought you would go. You will discover people who will understand your journey and others who don't care to know a piece of it.  I know this process will test me, and i'm sure when we get a placement we will be tested by the child. I have been reading up, but I can't come up with every scenario.

I know that people will say things that will be hurtful, but won't understand what they are saying. I pray that the person who says "real mother" I will breathe in and out and respond "do you mean birth mother? or what is a real mother do explain and then let me know what I am. Am I not real?" Yeah that can go all kinds of ways. I correct people even now. Some language is a matter of what you prefer, but real mother or real father gets to me. I know that unintentional someone may be so upset or angry that they blurt out "you aren't real family or you aren't blood." I place that brave face on to my child and talk it out. While in the back of my mind I will be devising a plan of what time to call that parent what I'm going to say refraining from talking to that child by myself because that won't solve anything. It's not exactly the same but did you ever see someone years from now and they say "remember that time i did (fill in the blank)" I'm so sorry, or you bring up to them, and they either don't remember or it hits them and they get it. Kids say and do things that can be very cruel without realizing the lasting effect it will have on someone. When they get to be older they will hopefully get it because they are better programmed. Then again this may never happen, or it may happen in school. Ahh yes school.

2013 had it's struggles tears fears frustration anger denial walls and now we come to a new year.

We don't know what this year will bring that's exciting and scary. I leave 2013 behind in the vault. I remember what I learn and take that with me to apply now but let's move forward not backwards.

To those that we didn't see eye to eye with it's a new year.
To those that we were pissed or angry with me in 2013 it's a new year.
To those I wasn't that close with in 2013 it's a new year.
To those that I adore cherish and so on it's a new year.
To my meant to be child/children it's a new year won't you come find us already? You maybe sitting around wondering does anyone love me or need me. We do we do!!!!!!

Celine Dion Quote

On not giving up: "I'm going to try until it works.

Jimmy Fallon Quote On Infertility

On staying hopeful: "I know people have tried much longer, but if there's anybody out there that's trying and losing hope, just hang in there. Try every avenue, try anything you can do because you'll get there — you'll end up with a family and it's so worth it. It is the most worth-it thing."

We have been approved!!!!!!!!!!

I don't expect "the call" for a long while. Yesterday I asked for a sign that this was going to work out. Well I got a phone call today. Panic set in because it is our caseworker. I'm thinking "oh goodness what is wrong now..." It wasn't bad new it was good news. We have officially been approved by the state. Our caseworker called today we could be called any day she says. Until we get the windows fixed (which should be in the next two weeks) we are approved for one child infant-2years old. When the window is fixed we will be approved for 3. Which opens the door to a sibling group. Let the ride of uncertainty begin.

I'm sure getting the call that you have been matched, approached about fostering, a certain situation that could lead to your forever family is awesome. I really hope that day comes. :)